Sunday, October 7, 2012


I was walking through the kitchen on my way to sit on the couch and grabbed a cookie out of the Kroger container I had bought earlier that day.  I had that great idea of getting something for dessert because “the kids would like it”.  I go sit down on the couch to enjoy my cookie while I look through the DVR for something good to watch while the kids are napping.  I haven’t even been sitting down for 60 seconds and that cookie is gone.  Still working on getting to my list of recorded shows, I interrupt that task at hand to get off the couch for another cookie.  After that cookie was carefully selected, I return to the primary task of watching a recorded show.  The show wasn’t even through telling what happened on the week before to catch the viewer up when I wanted another cookie.  I tried to put the thoughts of cookies in my head off to the side and tried to get into watching the show.  Let me just tell you, I had no idea what that show was about because I was dreaming of cookies.  They were practically calling… no screaming my name! Those cookies were so seductive and I kept going back for more.  After I had eaten so many the thought went through my head, “why not? I’ve already had 5 or 6, what is another cookie going to do”.  By the end of that hour long show that I was watching, there were two cookies left out of the dozen that were in the container.  The only reason I left two were because I had a child that I had already promised cookies to after dinner.  My poor husband didn’t get any.  I remember looking at those two cookies that were left and feeling hopelessly defeated.  At this point in time I was the woman that was creeping towards the 300 pound mark that would start a diet every single Monday and by lunch I was totally conquered and crushed by the temptations of food.  I was carrying the stress of a stay at home mother to 2 precious children under the age of two.  I was overwhelmed with life.  Something had to be sacrificed and it was me, my health, and my self esteem.  I was living for everyone else.  I had tons of weight loss goals and had never accomplished one.  I could not even walk to the mailbox without feeling out of breath.  Being out of breath was not my only problem; I got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure by the age of 25. I will never forget the day my doctor told me that bad news. I remember feeling as if my stomach dropped like a rock to the floor.  I started feeling hot and sweaty.  A knot was in my throat and I kept trying to swallow it down and it would not budge.  I do remember summarizing what he was telling me in my head.  The bottom line was that death would fall upon me due to my weight.  My years were numbered if I stayed this way being unhealthy with a high weight.  It was a death sentence.  I may not see my children graduate high school or college.  I may not see them get married.  I may not meet my grandchildren.  My mind was flooded with all the memories that I would miss out on in this life. I felt hopeless. 

Do you feel hopeless? 

Christ gives us hope!  Psalm 119:116 says :
  "Uphold me according to your promise, that I may live, and let me not be put to shame in my hope!"

Psalm 119:81 says:
"My soul longs for your salvation; I hope in your word."

Galations 5:5 says:
"For through the Spirit, by faith, we ourselves eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness"

Find hope in Christ!


1 comment:

  1. Sarah I am so thankful for your site. Food has been an issue for me for as long as I can remember. I started dieting as a young teen, and I believe I have either been controlling my food or it as been controlling me ever since. Most people don't recognize my issues, because I've been able to keep my weight down. But for those who know me well, it's another story. My prayer is to just honor the Lord with a healthy diet and keeping active. Thanks for giving me some much needed inspiration.